Spring KAL ~ Week 4
Hi friends! I hope you enjoyed your weekend. I turned 38 yesterday and celebrated in a very relaxing way, with my family and best friends. Simple and perfect!
This week I'd love to share some thoughts on compassion, specifically self compassion. If you listen to the podcast you know I ask that failure question, how do you get through failure to all of my guests. I ask this not to be a downer but because I feel so strongly that it is such an important part about living and putting yourself out there in the world. How do you get back up from it and keep going? In today's blog, I want to talk about how we get over our own failures. So not necessarily something that happened to us but something we messed up. I'm not sure if anyone will be able to relate to this but I think about my own mistakes a ton. Do you dwell on these? Do you have days where it's hard to move past them? I've made them and continue to make them continually and used to have such a hard time getting over whatever thing it was I massively messed up. Many times I've thought, I'll quit my business, I'll just give up. I can't deal with how hard it is to put something out into the world that is so personal, that's like my third baby! Sometimes it truly feels like I'm messing up more than I am figuring anything out, especially here at work but also personally, as a parent. Two weeks ago with my son, I realized that I had rushed into assuming another school change would be good for him next year. It's a long story but I made a mistake (there were a lot of tears on everyone's end) and we now plan to keep him where he is for one more year. I feel relieved but truly so mad at myself for not carefully thinking about who he is right now and the transition we went through this year already with changing schools/homes. This is one example, the work/business examples are endless and come in all different sizes. From a customer we really upset to wishing I'd included your KAL design schematics in the printed pattern, there are so many. Anyway I say all this as just examples of things I messed up and continue to mess up. I think the key is forgiving yourself in a compassionate way because otherwise it all eat at you and it's hard to move forward. You can just stew and stew on them forever. Of course, learning from the mistakes and taking any precautions to make sure they don't happen again is important. My big one now is notes, I take notes about everything. So learning is a part of it but forgiveness is a big part too...and who knew growing up that self forgiveness was a big important thing? I did not! I thought that was something we only extended to others until recently. I want to share this one quote from Glennon Doyle I saw over on her instagram that really got me thinking about this.
"My secret is that I forgive myself relentlessly. Just relentlessly. It annoys people how freely and relentlessly I forgive myself. The truth is that I just don't understand living any other way. Shame is so self indulgent and power zapping. It leaves us useless. To ourselves, to our people, to the world. Self flagellation is not a badge of honor. It doesn't make us worthy. It just makes us - kind of a drag. And it takes us out the game. Who has time? What are we doing here, if not learning and growing and trying again? Why can't we do that with some lightness and tenderness and humor? Who we were last year last hour last minute- it's gone. We are new! Let us begin again."
WHEW that is gold right?! I just love that she's putting the focus on getting back up, growing, learning, evolving in a better version of yourself. YES, that I can get on board with! It not easy to self forgive but I encourage you to embrace it if you tend to hold onto things. I also want to leave you with another quote from Elizabeth Gilbert from her book Big Magic. She says, "Failure has a function. It asks you if you want to go on making things." It's so good! If you're anything like me, making things is just part of who I am. I would still do it if I failed forever at it because I can't not do it. I love creating kooky yarns, knitting, and running a small business. Most of all I love feeling like I am creating the life I want, exactly as I want it to be. Sure, I have a seriously long way to go but I love feeling that I'm on the right path. Does that idea resonate with you? Does this post help you cope at all? How do you normally think about and cope with failure? Would love to hear your thoughts.